Something I wrote yesterday over dinner:
When the words are failing on me, when I feel there’s something waiting to go out, to get a shape… but nothing comes… It somehow feels I’m trying to find something I’ve lost a long time ago, worst! something I didn’t even realize I was losing: me!
All those flaming emotions I had inside of me, all those feelings I was so eager to hide and forget. it seems I succeeded. I’ve lock them and lost the key. But somehow they are whispering to me: I’m still here, please don’t forget who I am, who I truly am. Close your eyes and feel me, let me embrace you and take you on a journey.
It used to hurt you, it sometimes drove you mad but it was real, it was you! Take my hand and let me walk by your side. See your reflection in the mirror? If you search you will still find me. I will always be part of you even if it seems a distant memory, even if you can’t put it in words.
I believe you don’t even recognize you’ve lost me. You wanted so much to be someone else that you did… but that’s not the real you, well not the full story. It’s easier to go on, it’s easier to focus on the daily things. But you know something deeper is missing, otherwise these words wouldn’t be coming out. You just need to let it go and find a way of learning how to be you. It’s a journey you have to do all alone, there’s no right or wrong, but it will be worth it. Just stop doing what you think everyone believes is right and live! Fully and freely