.: The cheesecake and the blank page :.

Is there something more liberating than having time for myself and a blank page staring at you? No pressure, no compromises either. It doesn’t matter what happened yesterday or what happens next, just being here now and go with the flow.
If you spend all your life following schedules that you can barely control yourself and rushing against time, isn’t it great when nothing else matters, just enjoying the freedom of every single second? You can stop and just stare outside, you can grab the pen and just follow your own words. So many possibilities left to unfold waiting for you.
This feels something we used to have as kids, this type of freedom of being but as we grow older the world seems to build it’s own special rules on us. Be on time for work, prepare an important meeting, leave on time to reach the doctor appointment or pick the kids from school.
And now, while I’m staring at everyone else around me follow the clock outside I realise this might be one of the last times in a long time I’ll be able to do this. Just me, no one else, not even my own expectations of me. I guess the more the reason for me to enjoy it well. Although I’m not necessarily alone anymore either. You are making sure I don’t forget about you, kicking inside of me (Probably as a reaction to the amazing cheesecake I’m having). It’s hard to believe it’s only a matter of days before we finally meet! That is probably going to be THE moment of my life Because of that I’ve been full of worries in my head: Are you ok? Are you going to reach outside safely? Are you going to be healthy? Am I going to be the Mom you deserve?

So for now it feels good just to be here: me, you, us. Just enjoying the cheesecake and occupying this once blank page. The world carries on, but for this once I just stop and stare. No distractions (no e-mail, no social medial). That’s right, to make the most of it all I have is pen and paper – and a big window in front of me. I can also stop and just imagine what the other people are doing. There are 2 other people in the room with me, both of them with their own computers. I used to play a game while I was in public transport trying to read people’s minds and creating stories behind their lives. You don’t even notice time goes by. Now I tend to do what everyone else does, which is to stare at stuff on my phone and occasionally read. I miss a bit of the old days, so let’s try to play it again.
The guy on the right and side of the window seems to be a programmer or a web designer doing some work. He looks really quiet actually. He’s probably used to work from places like this, feels somehow better than to work from home. Less lonely I guess, even if you’re not interacting with anyone. Also in London not many people have the luxury of space for an office.
I would probably fancy finding such a job, that would allow me to work from everywhere. Today this lovely cafe, tomorrow maybe sitting in front of the river. That would be quite a creative boost wouldn’t it?
The lady on my left working with a mac I suspect is a creative of some sort. She’s also quite young (not even sure if she’s even 20!). She just ordered another round of coffee. Probably she’s working at a startup in the marketing or fashion industry. She looks the type that could easily be a blogger and actually be working as such (yap, nowadays being a blogger can be a profession as well).
I have a blog too but I use it mostly to share photos and thoughts. Doubt I could ever make a life out of it.
Next to the counter people are chatting and socialising, but my attention keeps getting drawn to these two silently working from different corners of the room.
Would they actually benefit from talking to each other? I suspect so, but that would be awkward for them I guess, because at first glance, aside from both working from the same space they don’t seem to have anything in common. Also I guess in their heads there’s also an invisible cube around them. It doesn’t matter who else is in the room, who comes or goes. The chatter in the counter doesn’t seem to bother them either – I guess the same way it doesn’t bother me either.
Uh…. just realise my cheesecake is almost gone! It’s really good (one can’t resist happy calories, I surely can’t). I wish I could bake like this! Although I’m certainly improving. The brownies we’ve baked over the weekend were really good and my scones tend to make my friends smile (baby I suspect you will like them as well).
Shall we have the last bit of cheesecake? Let’s do it… and that’s it, gone. Now I’m staring at the plate with nostalgia, when the cheesecake was still there. While the last sweet sensation from the cheesecake goes down, you’re kicking (you recognise the sweet taste don’t you?).
I stop to admire the lights in the room as well as my real life telly (I mean the big window) of people coming and going outside. I’m also starting to feel I need a bit of a break because I’m not used to write this long in pen & paper anymore (need to train my hands on that old school process again). While that, I look at the newcomers, a mom and 2 really well behaved kids. They are quietly enjoying their cake and fresh milk. I’m sure our 2 workers are as impressed as me, as probably they thought that they would be disturbed. They haven’t. Although I suspect a bit of distraction would be a good welcome break to whatever they are doing. Ah, guess I was right, as he got up and he’s looking through the window outside. A mini break before getting back to work. Isn’t it amazing how small little breaks can be such a productivity boost? Which reminds me of an interesting paper I wrote back at uni (we were tasked with interview people and explore around the breaks they did at work and how that affected their productivity). I definitely miss writing. But as soon as I would have the pressure to write to meet deadlines that’s it, all the worlds would take holiday from me and vanish somewhere else. So I guess that’s not something I will be doing either. Just stick to blogging when the words come even if no one else reads it.
There’s a newcomer in the room, a nice guy and a dog. Yap, I know, I’m already assuming he’s a nice guy. But you can actually judge people by the way they treat animals. He’s caressing the dog and the dog seems so happy. I’m seriously smiling as it’s such a tender moment happening right in front of me. Mr worker seems to have noticed as well and he’s smiling, while the young lady is still striking back her keyboard completely distracted of what goes around her. I’m happy I’ve noticed and that I’m actually here right now to see it. Dog seems happy and so am I. Happy that I left the house and the distractions to appreciate moments like this.
I have no idea how long I have been here. I didn’t checked time when I arrived and certainly not checking it now either, but it feels time to go for a walk and stretch my legs a little bit.
The luxury of time does indeed wonders . I feel absolutely peaceful and free from any worries. It doesn’t matter what happens next but I’m just happy that I’ve stopped the clock and just came to my once cheesecake and blank page.


.: Time is running out :.

For some reason this has been the thought in my head for the whole of my week. Maybe because I was inspired by my trip to Lake District  and now have the feeling I’m missing out and I’m just wasting time doing the wrong things

Somehow it just feels wrong, like I’m wasting my time 
Not really sure where to go
Or even where to seek for help
Somehow I just know it’s wrong and I’m wasting my time
Doing things I shouldn’t bother to do in first place
And leaving behind moments I will never have back
Grain by grain, time moves on and somehow I’m staying behind
Waiting for something to happen and change it all
Waiting that I’ll be able to find the answer
Before time runs out, before it becomes too late
I wish I just knew what the answer is
How can I make most of my life and just stop wasting time
Somehow I know I’m trapped into an infinite pendulum
Being pushed from one side to the other
Never having the chance to realise I’m in a spinning wheel
That goes faster and faster 
And my energy is being dragged
And all I had left is lost behind
All I wish is to stop time so I could just rest
Lay in the grass looking into the sky and counting the clouds moving on
Yes, I wish time was going slowly
I could feel at ease, and rested
But time doesn’t stop… and I’m just wasting my time

.: Surrounded… yet alone :.

I wrote a similar post not that long ago here, but this is a topic that is quite close to my heart as this is how I’ve felt most of my life. Yap, while growing up it was hard for me to really connect with people for real, I just couldn’t find easily people that I would relate to, everything seemed so… fake. It was all about pretending, and this was quite before the facebook age. I felt that I could disappear in the middle of the crowd and no one would notice I had vanished – except for my closest family.

It is a powerful feeling that becomes even more real if you live in a big city such as a London. Everyone’s in a hurry, no one cares, no one has time. It’s all about pretending to have a social life, fake conversations that mean nothing, all so fragile. No one cares who you really are except what you are perceived as. If you look someone powerful then people will notice you. As we have more tools to connect we become a lot more selfish, we only care about the me me me.

For a couple of years now I try to care and try to notice with little things such as looking someone in the eye and ask “how are you?” at the supermarket, or wishing a good day at a coffee shop. Normally people smile back to me because they don’t expect to be noticed. In plane english I don’t give a monkey’s if that person is important or not, I practice “the being nice” to everyone – except if they are rude to me. This is why it’s very easy for me to cross the corridor and speak to people and saying hi all the time. Is there something as powerful of being notice and someone honestly caring for your presence?

Here’s a story that happened to me a few years ago (at least twice that I remember). I was feeling very sick in the underground and I was fainting. I managed to get out on one station without even seeing where I was going and throw myself in a seat. I’m sure I was really pale, as I normally get, but do you think anyone noticed? Nop! Not a single person. I woke up on my own with the fresh air on my face and managed to get back into the next underground. More recently I fainted on the train. Yap, I just managed to throw myself on the ground on a crowded train in rush hour. No one asked me if I was ok or if I needed help. Isn’t this a bit sad? Fortunately I was fine and I managed to do everything on my own, but what if this wasn’t the case?

So this is why I could only have a smile on my face when reading this article

The world we live in needs more people like you Jamie!

Any story you would like to share?

.: A broken lens and a whole new perspective :.

One of the street photographers I admire the most is Marius, simply because I totally love his style and because he managed to achieve quite a lot just putting effort and love into it.

Here’s a few samples

Recently I saw a post on his blog where he describes what happened to a $1600 lens, whereas most of us would cry like a baby (I certainly would since I find $500 already quite expensive!)

But he took a whole new approach which I find truly inspiring, check out the video

Isn’t it just amazing? Also the topic is quite a powerful one. The best photography for me is the one that tells the story and captures the moment even if it’s not technically perfect! This is the art I want to perfect, telling a story through a photo.

To follow his blog and check his work click here.

Any inspiring stories you would like to share? Which photographers inspire you the most and why?

.: Power Dressing :.

I’ve read an article once that said something in the lines of: “Don’t dress for the position you have, dress for the position you want to have.” And while I’ll defend that what we look like or what we dress or how we look like, personality should come first, the truth is it does matter, especially if you’re a lady in a corporate world.

It’s not just your personality that contributes to the first impressions, in fact it will be mostly what you’re dressing. It doesn’t need to be all expensive clothing, but it needs to be neat and presentable, then you can shine with your personality.

For many people this is a no-brainer, it’s quite natural to them to dress well, it’s not for me. I try to look simple and professional as most as I can. I wear zero make up and rarely any high heels. Since I travel quite a lot, I can’t get used to carry to pairs of shoes – the flats and the high heels. Even while I’m in the office I keep on moving between buildings and meeting rooms, it hurts having high heels! So yes I tend to be quite practical, more then feminine and tend not to care about the looks.

But I admit, I’m wrong and I wish I was more classy by nature.

How I normally dress


Here’s a few examples for inspiration (and I wish I had legs for some of the outfits below):



What’s your personal style? Do you find it easy to look chic?