.: Lego Mum diaries – Planning :.

You know when I’ve said that I wouldn’t just be doing maternity related posts? Well, it seems I’m struggling as I’ve been doing 24h baby, so don’t have much time for any other random thoughts. Although I’ve managed to write a bit a few weeks ago. Normally if baby sleeps I’ll stop everything and will sleep too (there are not many of those opportunities)

Anyway, one of the things I’ve learned during pregnancy is that there is no point in planning. In this particular case I’m talking about labour. And I have no shame in saying that to me labour was always a frightful thought, just the idea of pain for hours (maybe days) and hospitals…. ┬ábut I’ve decided not to panic and real all about labour.

I’ve also read about hypno-birthing, did pregnancy yoga and was doing meditation.

Hypnobirthing is a complete birth education programme, that teaches simple but specific self hypnosis, relaxation and breathing techniques for a better birth.

this is not how most women feel at labour!!!!

this is not how most women feel at labour!!!!

Because I’m the type that faints in hospitals, I wanted a birth in the natural birth centre ideally in the birthing pool. You are encouraged to write all the details of your birthing plan, as if that was going to happen. I was already expecting it wouldn’t be going to be as per plan, but you always hope….

What I had was a roller coaster. Even on my due week (40 weeks), I was still going for walks, had a small belly (looking like 6 months) and went out for nice tea in the afternoon. After being measured by the midwifes, they’ve said baby wasn’t growing so better to do an additional scan. Based on the scan it was confirmed, baby had stopped growing. So was booked for a c-section for the next morning (they’ve also said she was breech (head up as opposed to head down), which I found surprising.

So I had less than 24h to get used to the idea, no natural birth, it was going to be a c-section. But it was for the best right? At night I guess I’ve started to feel more relaxed, although I’ve ended up not sleeping. Next morning at 06a.m I was already at the hospital. After speaking with the doctors, who’ve explained all the procedure I was ready to go for it. Then they’ve decided to do another scan, and as she was head down (as I was expecting!), they’ve said it was better for me to be induced so she would be born naturally (I wouldn’t be able to use the pool anyway because of her size). I’ve argued a bit, as I was already prepared for the c-section and it would be easier now. As the doctor said, it would be better for baby induction, I’ve decided to go for it.

While I was being prepared for the induction, her heart beat decreased, so the emergency alarm was triggered and I was being sent to the magic room. I was so scared for the baby. Although the journey was really short, I never felt so scared in my life. I remember seeing loads of people in the operation centre and then waking up and not being able to focus, but I knew there was a baby in my arms. So yap, not at all according to plan and it was so stressful that I’ve started to suffer from insomnia and had panic attacks the next 2 weeks….

Not to mention that the recovery is quite a slow one…. still in recovery mode 2 months later. So the conclusion is, whatever you’re about to plan, plan the opposite!

.: Lego Mum Diaries :.

Right, I hadn’t planned to add any baby stuff into my blogs, but I have to admit maybe it isn’t a bad idea to share some experiences, especially because all you will see around is really mommy sweet like blogs. Well, that isn’t me.

Ah oh, why lego? well, because I love lego and I’m really looking forward for her to start playing with them with me.

Anyway, I was never a really mommy type person. I never held a baby until she was born, I never wanted to. Even as a kid, I never really played with dolls. Maybe some barbies but not anything baby-similar. But now here I am, making giggly sounds to ensure she’s happy. I have to admit that is really easy for me, as I’m the kid in the house. They say it’s really good if you speak baby-like language to your baby as they will learn faster. Such an easy task for me, as at home (with my other half and sis) I have a kinda baby like language anyway. So being a kid? Easy peasy!

Another point to clarify, I never had the deep dream of being a mum. That’s something I thought about, but wasn’t even ready yet. I just wondered. At the same time was afraid of the impact of a baby in our relationship. And then it happened. During the pregnancy I had time to become more ready. But one thing is for sure, I don’t want to stop being me, the childish me, because it feels good.

So here it is, I’ve decided to share all my thoughts and experiences on maternity as they are. No fluffy around and say the things everyone expects you to. Being a Mum is really really hard, I had no idea about that. So I totally get if some people prefer not to have any kids. I never blamed them, and now it all makes even more sense. But every time she smiles at me, my heart melts. It’s really hard to explain, even for me.

Anyway, so I’ll be sharing some stuff on pregnancy and maternity overall. I promise the blog won’t just be about the baby, as I hope I’ll start having some life back at some stage. For the moment it’s 24h baby, and even a bath feels like a luxurious trip to Bahamas.